[... Lup doesn't understand. If she did, she wouldn't- wouldn't be so casually touching Elsa like this. It can be comforting to her, this girl who's been touch-starved for thirteen years, and would normally be enough to calm any jitters she might have. But at the same time it tears her up inside, bringing back that terrible self-loathing she tried so hard to bury in the year since her coronation.]

But it is. It... it could ruin one of the best friendships I've ever had. I don't know what I'd do if I made things even more awkward...

[... "Even more"?]