defyingfrigidity | [ryslig IC Inbox]

[Christ. The part he dreaded--answering questions.]

nothing, it's just
i would rather not be alone right now

[That probably sounds weird. Does it sound weird? He doesn't know. He's never really partaken in healthy coping mechanisms before.]

[It's... weird, but not in a bad way? Weird because this just doesn't seem like the Juno she's known up until now. And as someone who's dealt with so much anxiety and depression through her life, she knows "i don't want to be alone right now" is a huge red flag.]

I see.
Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate?
I'll have some ready for you by the time you arrive.

i'll be over in about ten minutes.

[There's a few minutes before another message is sent.]

coffee

[He's never really been one to go to other people when he's having trouble dealing with...just everything. More of the "sit alone in your apartment and catch your reflection in the bottom of the glass and feel sick" sort of type. Despite his thoughts coaxing him to grab another bottle of whiskey and ignore his obligation, he manages to pull himself off the couch and make his way towards Elsa's place.

What is he even supposed to say to Elsa? "Hey, I was feeling really lonely the last few days and I don't feel like I can even trust my friends from home right now, uh, can I just hang out for a few hours?" Stupid. That's stupid. By the time he walks up to the front door, his thoughts still haven't stopped screaming at him, that this is a terrible idea and he should just turn around and leave. Instead, he grits his teeth and knocks, taking a small step back.

When she answers the door, he jumps back a little at her floral appearance before realizing--]

Ah! Plants. Right. Plants are normal for you. [He clears his throat.] Hey.

[Elsa managed to avoid the most recent chaos of the month, so for a moment, she looks just as startled as Juno is when he jumps back. But the shock melts quickly into the worry that was so obvious even in her responses over the network.]

Right... [Oh god, did a nymph do something terrible to him?? But the ones she knows are so nice... something else, then?] Um! If you're.... worried about plants, we can go right to the kitchen. They don't really like it in there.

[Juno sighs, shaking his head and waving his hand dismissively.]

No, no, it's...it's fine. It's just-- [He hesitates, trying to find the words to say.] It's been a long week.

[He runs a hand through his hair, glancing over his shoulder before turning his attention back towards Elsa.]

In. I mean...shit, inside.

I- Yes. Of course.

[She doesn't look any bit reassured, but she still steps aside to let him in. Once the door is closed, she leads him through her home, pausing before she steps into the kitchen - always filled with herbs in various pots - and instead moves into the much less flowery dining room. Thankfully it's small, so no need to intimidate poor Juno with anything extravagant.]

Is there anything I can do? I mean... aside from this.

[Juno follows Elsa, his hands shoved in his pockets and his posture slightly hunched over. It's been a few months since he's come here, back when he first was trying to get his footing in Ryslig.

He rubs his face, leaning against the wall and suppressing a sigh. He doesn't want to unload all of his problems on Elsa.]

Just.... [He pauses. It's hard not to feel like a child when he says this.] This probably sounds stupid, but...I'd appreciate it if you could just...stay here or something.

[Another pause. He grips his arm.] Let's talk about your day. How was your day?

[He's making a poor attempt at trying not to have her ask questions about why he's here in the first place--he's not sure if he's capable of getting into that right now.]

now i know you wouldnt be trying to avoid me or anything
so just chagirl lup here checking in on you babe

[How ironic is it that for someone who tries so hard to not let anyone read her true emotions, Elsa's failed more and more at it since showing up here.]

Avoiding you?
I haven't been avoiding you.

Everything's been fine, really.

mm sounds fake

really? even with all of the current shenanigans going on? im not digging or anything hun just making sure the people who matter are all good
i know my attentions been elsewhere so im checking in

["the people who matter" mmmmmm]

well
That's not okay, no. I didn't want to make it seem like that isn't a big deal.
But... I'm okay. As far as I can tell, I haven't been affected.

Are you and Barry okay?

[perfect deflecting skills]

[you matter!!!! believe it!!!]

were fine
were always fine. even when the shit hits the fan here we manage
nothing to worry about there
weve been through way worse

but yknow
not to be that pushy asshole of a friend but i kinda know how you deflect shit a lot chickadee

its okay to not be okay
you know that right?

I'll always worry, even a little.
I know it may be silly, because nearly all of the people I know handle things loke this better than I do, but... I just have a hard time not worrying.

... I know.
You helped me a lot with that. When... when Anna disappeared, I mean.
Just talking to me.

But there's nothing important going on with me now. Really.

[Because her feelings aren't important, haha!!!]

[MMMMMMMMM GIRL. Lup is so not completely convinced.]

alright babe i aint gonna push
wanna chill together? whats ur schedule today?

[... Geez, if she says no to this, then it really will be obvious that she's avoiding Lup, won't it? Damn...]

Just work, but it's very slow.
You can stop by now, if you want.
Or if you'd rather wait until I'm out, I'll be closing up the usual time and heading right home.

[got em]

great! ill pop over. could use a few things for later anyway

[aaaaa this is a bad idea a terrible idea and she's not sure if the way her stomach twisting up is because of dread or... just that feeling she always gets when Lup is around. Either way, her nerves have now been set into overdrive, and that means when Elsa isn't working on the baking, she's cleaning. Which isn't really needed, with how clean the cafe usually is, but... she needs something to do with her hands to fight these jitters.

It's during one of these cleaning sprees that Lup will likely arrive; sweeping, wiping the counters or the display case down... Elsa's just constantly moving, and she doesn't immediately notice when her friend arrives.]

[Lup's hard to miss, all long and bristling and so colorful, but she moves silently enough as a snake, slithering over the threshold of the shop without a sound, her mouth curling into her usual grin at the sight of her friend. And sure, the shop is always clean whenever she visits, but Lup's definitely not seen Elsa bustling around to clean with this much enthusiasm before.]

Whoa, hun, slam on the brakes for a sec, you look like you deserve a rest. Come take a break with me.

[Even with the other woman's gentle protests, Lup can tell something is off enough to be tugging at Elsa's anxiety, she's just not entirely certain what yet.]

[Elsa visibly jumps as Lup's voice, and a light crack can be heard as her claws dig into the wood of the broom in her hands.]

Oh, Lup! [I was really hoping you'd change your mind!] I didn't think you'd get here so soon! Um-- if you want to take a break, would you like something to eat, or...?

[Even as she's talking, Elsa doesn't stop moving, instead heading behind the counter to put her broom away, and possibly grab something from the case if Lup wants it...!]

Edited 2018-11-24 02:00 (UTC)

[Oh. Oh yeah. Something is fucking going on and Lup is so going to get to the bottom of it.

While Elsa stumbles over her words, the naga is already slipping into the shop, moving the long length of her body inside so the front door can shut behind her.]

Nope. Nada. I don't need a thing except for you to sit your cute butt down and take a real breather for a sec. No offense, but you look like you're about to be sick. It's chill time now.

[On one hand, Elsa is glad that there are no other people in the cafe right now. It helps her focus on her friend more, and even with all the inner turmoil and frustration she's felt over this whole self-revelation, even if she'd been avoiding Lup before now... now that Lup is here, it's easy enough to focus on her, to make sure that she can take care of anything she needs.

... At the same time, it's easy to see the way Elsa's seems to freeze at the cute comment, and her jaw clenches briefly before she nods, moving back around the counter and taking a seat at the table closest to where Lup is now.]

I promise, I'm not any greener than usual. [She can still joke, see?? She's not that bad off...!] It's just... the changing of the seasons. The weather getting colder. I wasn't here during winter the last time I was in this land, so I'm not sure how it might affect me...

[That's... not completely a lie, at least. She has been feeling weird since the weather started turning, that's just not the cause behind all of this.]

[Elsa's always been so easy to fluster and rile up with her flirting, Lup knows that, but there's just something about the tight clench of her jaw that catches the naga's attention, that strikes her as new. She's seen Elsa flush green, stammer, quickly backtrack around the subject, but she's never observed the woman to hold herself back so much like that.

Huh.

Elsa comes to sit near her and Lup's long tail settles in beneath her, curling and coiling, shifting enough so she can settle and make her own seat. Her hands fall against one of the coils of her tail, clawed fingers tapping idly at bristling scales.

At least the green comment gets a snort out of her. Elsa can't be that bad if she's cracking jokes, right?]

That's fair. To be honest, I'm deffo feelin' the same way. Cold and snakes just don't add up. [Soon she'll have to be stuck inside with her heat lamp, cramped up in the house. It's gonna be awful.]

But - [The elf raises a hand to drop it over Elsa's, friendly and affectionate and meant to guide the younger woman's gaze to her.] We're friends, so like, if anythin' does come up, lemme know. If someone's bullying you or being a little shit, you know I'll set 'em straight.

[If Lup noticed the way Elsa froze up just now, then she'll definitely notice the nymph's hand jumps under her touch. But she doesn't pull away, at least, so that's a good sign.]

Wha- no, of course not! I've never had to deal with anyone like that, thankfully. Aside from humans wary of a monster-run business, but I can't exactly blame them for that.

[... This is the problem with learning how to be open, Elsa thinks. Thanks to Anna, to her friends, and to her time in Ryslig, she's become better at expressing herself, at letting her emotions show even if they're not exactly positive emotions. It's a good thing, of course, but it also makes falling back into that pattern of conceal, don't feel all the harder.

She wants to, but she doesn't want to. She hates the feeling of repressing again, but she has to. If things between her and Lup became awkward because she mentions her growing feelings for the other woman... she doesn't know what she'd do.]

It's just... a personal matter I'm not sure how to deal with. Something very new to me.

[Lup used to be the same, even if she concealed in a completely different way. Before the Starblaster, she kept up her own front for the world, never letting anyone but her twin in close, only sharing her cocky, too tough side to anyone else. She hid anything that made her vulnerable, hid anything that could be used against her.

It took her whole planet being destroyed to force the elf to begin to open up and even then, the process had taken decades.

So she gets it, even if Elsa's brand isn't as familiar to her. But she understands that need to conceal, to hide away true feelings beneath the facade of always being cool and composed and perfect. And maybe that's why they are such good friends. Lup wants to see Elsa let loose and become her true self with the world.

Maybe one day. For now, Lup can always offer friendship.]

Gotcha. I'm just... Y'know. [Her hand drops back down to her coils, the elf's voice dropping down just slightly, to something more intimate. A secret.] Taako's always been my go to, like. Of course I tell Barry shit, but it's - [Her skinny shoulders shrug.] It's different when you have a close sibling. Taako was always that for me an' I'm guessin' Anna's the same for you. I know I don't replace her, but if you need someone to chat at, someone to fill in before she comes back, I got you covered. That's all, babe. Just cuz they popped outta here, doesn't mean we have to spend the time without 'em alone.

[Elsa wants to be open. She wants it so bad. She hates the way her stomach knots up so often with how nervous she gets, she hates the feeling of walking on eggshells around people she shouldn't have to. Elsa was never someone who wanted to put distance between herself and others; she was just as playful and outgoing (though somewhat shyer) a child as her sister was, and deep down, she's still like that.

So Lup's words hurt. Not because she said anything bad, it just... something that slips right between the cracks in the wall she put around herself. So she's quiet for a moment, mulling over her words, before speaking carefully.]

... Thank you, Lup. I... I've talked about it before, but that offer.. it helps. A lot. [But also not because it makes trying to get over this so much harder.] I'm just... dealing with some. Um. Personal feelings? That I'm trying to get over.

[Maybe if she can be vague enough, she can talk about it without cluing Lup in...?]

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, QUEENOFICEOLATION. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.11.221.20 * QUEENOFICEOLATION has joined 013.11.221.20 <QUEENOFICEOLATION> I think I've finally gotten the hang of these devices. <QUEENOFICEOLATION> So! <QUEENOFICEOLATION> There's no harm in setting up one of these, yes? <QUEENOFICEOLATION>** (Thanks to those of you who helped me do so and I'm sorry if I frustrated anyone)