defyingfrigidity | [ryslig IC Inbox]

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, QUEENOFICEOLATION. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 013.11.221.20 * QUEENOFICEOLATION has joined 013.11.221.20 <QUEENOFICEOLATION> I think I've finally gotten the hang of these devices. <QUEENOFICEOLATION> So! <QUEENOFICEOLATION> There's no harm in setting up one of these, yes? <QUEENOFICEOLATION>** (Thanks to those of you who helped me do so and I'm sorry if I frustrated anyone)

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Hello, Ms. Elsa.

This is Barry Bluejeans. It has been a while since our previous communication. I apologize for this oversight.
I hope you are doing well, and that this message finds you well.

I would just like to thank you for your honesty.
Lup really appreciated it too.

[Elsa is the direct opposite of okay recently, and ohhhhhh shit does this make her feel even worse. Not because of him!! But just... it feels like she's being punched in the gut right now.]

... Thank me?
Why would you thank me for that?

Being honest about one's feelings is a terrifying prospect for many.
With no guarantee of how a confession such as yours will pan out, being truthful can turn out to be quite an ordeal.

But your honesty shows courage and integrity and respect for your friend.
Very little matters to Lup as much as respect.
I hope you are aware of this.

I... don't know if what I said could be called courageous.
I wasn't really expecting anything good to come of it.
... I think I just wanted to get everything over with, really.

Edited 2018-12-31 01:44 (UTC)

And yet, you told her. Even though you were afraid, or expecting the worst, you chose honesty.
That is courage. Doing the right thing even when we are afraid.

Lup adores you, you know.

I suppose you have a point.

... I know.
It's just. Awkward.
When it's not the same kind of "adore".

[Oh god Elsa you idiot you're saying that to Lup's husband what is wrong with you...]

Not that it's something wrong there!!
But... figuring out boundaries again is a little tough.

Edited 2019-01-09 21:25 (UTC)

[Awkward is dang right. Thank fuck they're not having this conversation in person. Barry doesn't know if he'd be able to keep his cool.]

... I understand.
I really do.

I hope I am not coming off as confrontational.
Neither Lup nor I are angry with you.
All I want is to establish a dialogue and let you know that things are alright.
Even if they do not feel alright.

Is there anything I can do as a friend to help you figure out boundaries?

[Ain't that a damn mood. Elsa's already in a state of wanting to tear her leaves out over the stress of talking to Barry about all of this. And she feels a little bad about feeling like that, even, because Barry's been nothing but sweet to her when they've talked, but all of these feelings... ugh!]

Oh no, you're not!
You've been surprisingly kind during all of this.
I think a lot of people might be angry, or at least annoyed at all of this.
So... thank you. I truly mean it.

... I don't know if you can help, though.
This is the first time this has ever happened to me.
Not just... this situation. But um. Feelings like this in general.
I want to get over them but I don't know how.

[As much as she loves the warm, fluttery feeling she gets when she talks to Lup or when Lup flirts with her... she has to let go of it, or something bad might happen.]

Of course.
I have no reason to be angry with you for having feelings.

[Things would have been different had she made a move on Lup, but... this is Elsa. That fear was never even on the table.]

Oh, that
that certainly makes things complicated.
Well... I confess I do not know how to "get over" feelings like that.
I tried very hard to get over Lup, actually. For decades. Ha ha ha.

Feelings usually only pass on their own, unfortunately.
Or when you open your heart to another. Sometimes not even then.
The most helpful thing is to be patient and forgiving with yourself.

Decades...
I can't imagine how difficult that must have been.

[... and it's honestly making her kind of nervous, oops. Especially when he mentions forgiving yourself, because if there's one thing Elsa still can't quite do, it's that. Even with how much more open she's been since arriving in Ryslig, she still carries much of the guilt she feels over hurting her sister in the past, over the people she's had to kill and eat....]

.... Right.
I see.
I um. Doubt that second one will happen anytime soon, ha. So I guess I'll just have to wait.

It was.
Could not do it, turns out.

[mmmn. this sucks. Not just the whole situation, but this specifically, trying to speak to her, trying to reach her through the layers of protection and awkwardness. Barry really does want to help her. Despite everything.]

That is the painful truth sometimes.
I am sorry things have turned out this way.
Please do not feel guilt or fear about this. No one is upset with you.

[Oh Barry, if only you knew how much fear and guilt ruled Elsa's life since she was eight years old.]

You don't have to apologize, really.
It's
I may not know what to do, but I'm not going to simply leave it at that.

You... we're friends, right?
And Lup is the best friend I've ever had.
I can't lose that.
I won't.
So however I'm feeling now... I'll make sure it passes.

[Whether it be naturally or through working through them or her usual method of just repressing her emotions until they're all just a muted mess, she will.]

And in the meantime, I think the offer of free pastries whenever the two of you visit the cafe might help ease away the tension, don't you think?

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